Be it from the North, West, South, or Eastern states; African mothers have some funny acts peculiar to them. African mothers are almost the same when it comes to the way they relate to their children. Let's reminisce over some of their funny acts.
1. They complain when you don't eat and when you eat too much.
African mothers be like why can't you finish that food? What's in that food that you can't finish? That small portion of food, ehn? What have you eaten that you cannot finish it. Especially when they are the one that cooked it, you'd hear statements like, 'what happened?' You can't finish it? The soup I labored over, you can't finish it? You've eaten junks abi? My soup now taste bitter in your mouth? My soup is not sweet abi? The soup that made your father married me, you cannot finish it. You don't like it. 'Mum na food I no fit finish, I no kill person😒.' when you eat too much, they'd be like, what work have you done in this house that you're eating like this? Am I feeding you to sell you? Remove your hand! You cannot turn my house into a fattening one. Glutton! 'African Mothers, which way na'👀?
2. They hardly apologize when they wrong you.
'Oh. I didn't know. Seriously, my son. I did not know. Hun? Biko, no vex. Hun? No vex. What? You're still angry? I said I did not know. I should kneel down for you. Ah! If you want me to kneel down, I will. I, your mother will kneel for you. Ah, I will kneel. Sheybi you want me to kneel down. No problem.' 'When you're still angry nkor? I said I didn't know. I don't know what else do you want me to do.' 'If you decide to stay angry, no problem. I have already told you that I did not know.' When you're done being angry, you will talk to me.' Not even I'm sorry👺
3. They make mistakes you should never do
'Mistakenly oversalts food' African Mothers: Ah, this unrefined salt too dey oversalt food. Just small oooo, just a pinch, everywhere salt. Ah. Come. Come and taste this food for me. Take. What? Why did you spoil your mouth like that? What happened to it? Is it salty? So my food is salty? You mean the food that me your mother cooked is salty. I have never said that to my mother before. You will have to eat it like that. Mistakes do happen, and this is part of it. Hun? Oya bring plates, let me serve it. When it is your turn. African Mothers: 'Yeeee! My tounge. Did you fetch water from the ocean to cook this food? If you're a female, you'd hear, is this how you'll be cooking it in your husband's house? Your mother-in-law will be eating salty food like this. Ah. All your husband's kinsmen, all of them. Na oversalted food you go dey serve them. No problem. When you will be pressing phone. See your life, and you're a female child. I have never oversalted food in my life. This is the first time I will taste such. What if I gave you the refined salt. The unrefined one are even better, still, you can't make good use of it. Shior! E dey your body. 'Spare me, Mama😌.'
4. They ask how do I look? If you tell them the truth, you're in trouble.
I'm going to visit my Mummy Kwame. She returned from Ghana yesterday. How do I look? 'Mum the wrapper is quite faded. You may change it.''What? What happened to my wrapper? This wrapper is not good? Okay I have heard you. What else? My footwear nko? 'Yes, that's true. It doesn't match with the attire.' Abeg, abeg. 'This one doesn't match with my clothes? Leave it. Na you ladies dey do match to match. We are old schools. We don't need such fashion. I'm not going to stay long. It is just to greet her and come back. I haven't seen her in three years now. What else apart from those two? Tell me, but I can't change the ones you talked about. Anything else? Abeg, I don commot. 'Sighs.'😒
5. When they see their old time friend, just get a bed and sleep on that spot.
The time African mothers use to chat with each other or one another is enough to soft a stone, in the boiling process. When they see their old time friend, they'd chatter, talk, laugh, scream, practice some funny gestures that only them understand, gossip, and do some traditional dancing moves, not concerned about you waiting for them, or the time you've spent doing so.
6. They try to imitate the modern lifestyle that they have insulted.
Mum, I thought you said it is ladies that like men too much that wears wig.' 'Ehen, ehen? Doesn't it fit me? Look at me now. Look at a sweet girl. Instead of you to compliment me, you're telling me shit. It fits me na, or doesn't it? You can't answer abi. Or you don't want me to wear it, because it is yours. I will wear it sha. It makes me remember when I was a young lady. I used to be very very beautiful. You got your beauty from me. I'm still beautiful sef. Omalicha nwa. Please, close the door. I will see you when I come back.
7. They give almost all the food to the visitor, at your own peril.
'Mama Boluuuuuu! Welcome. Sit. Your legs are good. I have just finished preparing Amala and efo riro. What? You are not eating? Abeg. Abeg. I will get angry if you don't. You have to. Let me quickly serve you. What's too much? We have more. Please, eat. It was as if I knew I was going to have a visitor. Please, eat to your fill. 'Bola, prepare small eba for yourself, and take the smallest meat. The smallest meat, please. Things are now really expensive.' 'Really?💀'
8. They lament when you don't pay attention to their rants.
I heard the price of fuel has been inflated. Only God know where we are going in this country. Ehn? They even said there's going to be a war, that we should be indoors before 7. Ehen, that we should be indoors before 7. Shade, can you hear that? You that will be coming home around 9. Let your head be correct, don't implicate me. Shade are you listening? See the person I'm talking to. Do you want to make me worried? Where will I find you if something bad should happen to you? It is not good the way you're treating me. I did not treat my mother like that. I said they said the security outside is too loose, that we should be indoors before 7. Ehen, ehen, better. God bless you. Sleep well.
9. They care for and insult you at the same time when you are sick.
Sorry. Oya, take more. Take more pap. Take more, so that you can use your medicine. Sorry. How are you feeling now? When you will be pressing phone, ehen. Everytime phone, why won't you fall sick. It is not possible for someone to press phone at the rate which you do, and not fall sick. Ehen? With that your big headset. You actually deserve this headache. Bring your mouth here. Stubborn boy!
10. They put so much energy to want to watch news, and doze off 5 minutes later when watching it, only to wake up as you grab the remote.
Where's the lie?💀
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